IF I WAS YOU I’D DO JUST LIKE I TELL YOU TO DO

Tell you a thing or two. If I was you
I’d stop with Jew Jew Jew if I was you.

That long line for knowledge? I wouldn’t be
at the back of the queue if I was you.

Fact: there’s no future in dictatorship.
Just crumbly residue. If. I. Was. You.

Yessir, you ought to get with the program
or else you’ll be warm spew. If I was you.

I wouldn’t be running my life by some
ancient stupid taboo if I was you.

Five times a day you’re kissing dirt, praying
to what? I’d get a clue if I was you.

You have some options. Think. I’d be thinking
about a bloodless coup if I was you.

Or else. Or else I’d expect a sanguine
high-fiving bomber crew, if I was you.